Trauma can be defined as acute or chronic events that overwhelm one's ability to cope. While it makes no sense to discuss whether one of these is worse than another, there is significant evidence to demonstrate that childhood trauma, and specifically child maltreatment, is implicated in numerous issues including poorer mental health and physical outcomes. Related to this, people who have not healed from trauma tend to have more difficulties in relationships; this is especially the case when trauma is inflicted by other people and notably, when perpetrators are known to their victims - made even worse when the perpetrator is a parent or other caregiver.
There are other events that can be considered traumatic including physical and sexual abuse, neglect, bullying, community-based violence, racism, disaster, terrorism, and war. SAMHSA does a good job of describing these here. |
Attachment Theory & Trauma
In psychology and social work, we can explore dynamics of current relationships by examining early parent-child relationships. Bowlby and others before him studied parent child dynamics extensively leading to the development of Attachment Theory. From this perspective, parent child relationships can be categorized as secure, insecure (avoidant or ambivalent) or disorganized. The majority of us would be considered securely attached (65%). Securely attached people can flexibly enter and exit relationships, tend to bounce back from trauma more quickly and adequately seek closeness and safety in intimate relationships. For those of us considered insecure (about 35%) we struggle a bit more in relationships. We tend to need people in intimate relationship with us to stay at a bit of a distance from us (spend less time in physical proximity or are content with having what some might consider superficial connection) or to remain in our direct site at all times (i.e., respond immediately to text message and emails, know where the other is moment-by-moment, etc.). They will recover from trauma but will certainly struggle in doing so. Finally, there are a small percentage of people who are considered as having a disorganized attachment style (5%). The person with this style labors the most in relationships. They tend to have no recognizable relationship patterns or rather no reasonable skills for managing relationships. They may be unable to maintain intimate relationships at all. Or, the relationships are so fraught with dysfunction they could be considered dangerous perhaps, but certainly confusing. They have the most difficult time recovering from trauma.
These attachment patterns develop within the first 12-24 months of a child's life and are considered relatively stable. They develop in response to their environment, most notably whether parents are sensitively attuned to their needs and help infants to feel seen, safe, and protected; this needs to happen about 1/3 of the time that parents and infants spend together. Sensitive responding includes attending to physical needs, needs for love and belonging, and the need to feel protected. When trauma happens during this time, the sensitive parent helps the child to learn that in spite of the traumatic event, they are safe in the home, in their environment and in the world. Children essentially learn how to manage trauma by being regularly protected from it. That is not to say that trauma can never happen to an infant in order for that infant to develop in to a healthy adult, but that when trauma does happen, parents sensitively respond and help the child to develop self-soothing and emotion regulation skills.
In psychology and social work, we can explore dynamics of current relationships by examining early parent-child relationships. Bowlby and others before him studied parent child dynamics extensively leading to the development of Attachment Theory. From this perspective, parent child relationships can be categorized as secure, insecure (avoidant or ambivalent) or disorganized. The majority of us would be considered securely attached (65%). Securely attached people can flexibly enter and exit relationships, tend to bounce back from trauma more quickly and adequately seek closeness and safety in intimate relationships. For those of us considered insecure (about 35%) we struggle a bit more in relationships. We tend to need people in intimate relationship with us to stay at a bit of a distance from us (spend less time in physical proximity or are content with having what some might consider superficial connection) or to remain in our direct site at all times (i.e., respond immediately to text message and emails, know where the other is moment-by-moment, etc.). They will recover from trauma but will certainly struggle in doing so. Finally, there are a small percentage of people who are considered as having a disorganized attachment style (5%). The person with this style labors the most in relationships. They tend to have no recognizable relationship patterns or rather no reasonable skills for managing relationships. They may be unable to maintain intimate relationships at all. Or, the relationships are so fraught with dysfunction they could be considered dangerous perhaps, but certainly confusing. They have the most difficult time recovering from trauma.
These attachment patterns develop within the first 12-24 months of a child's life and are considered relatively stable. They develop in response to their environment, most notably whether parents are sensitively attuned to their needs and help infants to feel seen, safe, and protected; this needs to happen about 1/3 of the time that parents and infants spend together. Sensitive responding includes attending to physical needs, needs for love and belonging, and the need to feel protected. When trauma happens during this time, the sensitive parent helps the child to learn that in spite of the traumatic event, they are safe in the home, in their environment and in the world. Children essentially learn how to manage trauma by being regularly protected from it. That is not to say that trauma can never happen to an infant in order for that infant to develop in to a healthy adult, but that when trauma does happen, parents sensitively respond and help the child to develop self-soothing and emotion regulation skills.
The benefit of secure attachment is that not only does security teach us how to have relationships across the lifespan, it also helps the developing infant to have a more robust, flexible brain - that recovers more quickly from stress and trauma. |
Attachment Insecurity, & Post-Traumatic Relationships
If one is insecurely attached and thus is accustomed to experiencing misattunement (where stated or unstated needs aren't consistently met), traumatic events verify that indeed their environment, including people in it, are untrustworthy and unsafe. The insecurely attached or disorganized-attached person may learn to expect disappointment and lack of safety in relationships; in other words, learn to be mistrusting.
As a function of insecurity and disorganization, brains may also be wired in such a way that creates greater vulnerability toward mental and physical illnesses. When one is faced with managing mental and physical illness, attention is likely to turn inwards, leading some to be self-centered. This dynamic negatively impacts relationships.
If one is insecurely attached and thus is accustomed to experiencing misattunement (where stated or unstated needs aren't consistently met), traumatic events verify that indeed their environment, including people in it, are untrustworthy and unsafe. The insecurely attached or disorganized-attached person may learn to expect disappointment and lack of safety in relationships; in other words, learn to be mistrusting.
As a function of insecurity and disorganization, brains may also be wired in such a way that creates greater vulnerability toward mental and physical illnesses. When one is faced with managing mental and physical illness, attention is likely to turn inwards, leading some to be self-centered. This dynamic negatively impacts relationships.
Trauma Resources: |
Trauma-Focused Therapy
The Center for Child Trauma Assessment, Services and Intervention outlines components of Trauma Focused Therapy stating it is "a specific approach to therapy that recognizes understanding how the traumatic experiences impacts [a child's]* mental, behavioral, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being". While the benefits of this kind of therapy are numerous, the types of therapies are even more. There is agreement that a trauma-informed approach might include:
*I only see adults
The Center for Child Trauma Assessment, Services and Intervention outlines components of Trauma Focused Therapy stating it is "a specific approach to therapy that recognizes understanding how the traumatic experiences impacts [a child's]* mental, behavioral, emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being". While the benefits of this kind of therapy are numerous, the types of therapies are even more. There is agreement that a trauma-informed approach might include:
- Re-establishing safety
- Identifying triggers
- Developing healthy coping skills
- Decreasing traumatic stress symptoms
- Practicing trauma processing or integration
*I only see adults